In India, the offer of chai is not a commercial transaction. When a colleague in Mumbai says chai peeyoge? before a difficult meeting, they are saying something more than "do you want tea?" They are saying: we are going to do this together, and we will be okay.
The Grammar of Chai Hospitality
There are specific rules, largely unspoken, about chai hospitality in India:
You never ask once. The first refusal is expected. You ask again. A second refusal is accepted.
You never leave someone's cup empty without offering more. An empty cup is a question.
You never charge family. Chai made at home and offered to a guest is a gift, not a product.
You always make a little extra. The person who dropped by unexpectedly gets a cup, and there is always enough.
These rules are not written down anywhere. They are transmitted through observation — through watching your mother make chai for the unexpected guest at 9pm, through receiving chai in a stranger's home during a village power cut, through the chai that appeared on your desk on the morning of a hard deadline.
When making chai for someone else, ask about sweetness. The sweetness preference is deeply personal — some people add no sugar at all, others need three teaspoons. Getting this right is a form of attention.
What the Act of Making Chai Says
To make chai for another person is to attend to them. You are boiling water, crushing spices, watching milk — on their behalf. The ten minutes it takes is ten minutes of thinking about them.
This is why chai made by someone who loves you tastes different from chai you make yourself. The flavour is identical. The taste is not.
“Chai piyo — drink chai — is also, in a certain light, an invitation to stop and be with someone. It is the most understated form of care in Indian life.